Office Romances

With so many of us spending the largest chunk of our waking hours in the work environment, it’s only natural that work can also become the place where we are most likely to find romance. But, combining your work-life and your love-life can be very difficult and cause problems with your other work relationships. Here are some tips for avoiding some of the landmines of work/love relationships:

• Check your business’ policies on work relationships. Many employers have a written policy in place that forbids mixing business with pleasure, especially if that love relationship involves a work power relationship. Also imagine the long-term path of this love interest. Is it likely to end in marriage? Your employer may have a specific policy forbidding spouses working together.
  
• Make the assumption, from the beginning, that you will not be able to keep this romance a secret from your coworkers. People are going to put two and two together from watching your interactions together (even before you start dating!). Saying to yourself that it doesn’t matter what people think isn’t realistic. What will they say? If there’s a power relationship involved here, you can bet the farm that you will be very closely scrutinized for signs of favoritism. How much time are you spending together? Your coworkers will notice, and resentments will form if there’s any perception of time being wasted.
  
• Before you even share that first kiss, have a mutually agreed upon plan for the possibility of a break up. Consider the possible work related consequences of it ending, and have a plan in place to avoid those consequences. Make a commitment to each other from the beginning to make negative statements about each other off limits. Shifting a relationship from romance to business can be very difficult. Should one or both of you agree to transfer to another area if you break up? Think through all these details before agreeing to date.
  
• Don’t share details of your relationship with coworkers. They all have to continue working with both of you, and you need to be careful not to give them so much information about your coworker that they feel uncomfortable.
  
• Have a clear boundary between work and home. If you have a fight after hours, agree to set it aside while you’re at work. Avoid any kind of gestures of affection at work, as this may make others feel uncomfortable. There have even been cases of coworkers observing or overhearing flirtation with sexual overtones who filed sexual harassment complaints.
  
• Sexual play at work can have dire consequences! Even if you think no one else is in the building, someone could enter the building at any time. Getting caught in a compromising situation can ruin your professional reputation and your career. It can also end your job. Save it for later.
  
• Do not use the office computers to send love notes. Many employers have software to aid in monitoring computer use, and your love missives could become public. Some employers expressively forbid using the office computers for personal business, and you could end up being disciplined for misuse of company time or misuse of company property. If your emails to each other are steamy in nature, you could also end up in trouble for pornographic content.
  

Does all this seem to be awfully complicated? It is. And, other people besides just the two of you will be affected by the relationship, no matter how discreet you are. A good rule of thumb regarding office romances is: don’t do it!